Big Mac>Pocket Rocket & Bearoid Bonds

In the words of the great Jim Carrey in one of the greastest movies of all time (Liar, Liar) "And the truth, shall set you free!" Finally after seeing McGwire blow up and look as big as Ronnie from Jersey Shore and hit moonballs out of the earth's atmosphere he has finally admitted his use of performance enhancing drugs (i.e. Steroids and HGH). Now that said here comes the big question, "does this change your view of Mark McGwire?" And my answer is simply not really. I mean the guy absolute blasted the ball into Big Mac land for one reason and that was for the kids. Every time McGwire put the syringes to the ball and smoked it into Big Mac Land the kids all got free happy meals or some shit. So, being the humanitarian that I am I have no issues with McGwire juicing his balls off to feed some kids and all you soul less bastards in the media can eat my shorts if you disagree. You think Mac wanted his balls to shrivel up in his man pouch? You think he wanted this bonafide ball breaker that's on his lap to be turned off by his marble sized man bag? So, when you're throwin rocks at McGwire don't forget he is the real victim here. That said I'm interested to see how cowards like Pocket Rocket Clemens and Bearoid Bonds feel now that a true American hero like Big Mac has come forward. Like those selfish bastards did it for a paycheck while McGwire was just tryin to feed the youth of the greater St. Louis area....

Dingo-Is-My-Nameo

Ride the Tiger

Some would say I lived a lifetime in a weekend. Others might say the word innocent and me are now incompatible. I reject both claims individually, but accept both claims together. To start the weekend off, I went to the Professional Bull Riding tour at Madison Square Garden. This was both the greatest and worst idea the PBR has ever thought up. It is the greatest because about 15,000 people got to see something new and interesting. It was a complete change of pace from the normal weekend and allowed many people to experience a foreign culture only native to the South and mid-West. Now for the juicy part. About 75% of the people in attendance literally treated this as the biggest joke ever. Even I was apart of the 75%. Everybody who I sat around did not seem to care about the event at all, it was just another excuse to dress differently and get drunker than normal. Basically, it was Halloween in January. For the most part though, I found the event to be boring and still to this day I don't know why I needed to see a people with half the brain capacity as me try and kill themselves. Even more so why I had to spend eighty dollars on beer to enjoy it. What would make bull riding more interesting is people who have graduated from elite colleges, both graduate and undergraduate, risking it all just to ride 2,000 lbs. of pure nature. I mean a simple kick to the head and these people just lost $300,000 worth of education. Instead, were left with toothless wonders who we expect to be dumb enough to actually get on one of these beasts. It's almost as if the crowd was trying to assist these guys in their apparent suicide. Anytime when you're in a profession when the fans are rooting for the worst outcome to happen, I think it might be time for a career change.

Forever
Excessively Pleasant

Life is a Bitch Mother

I cannot put into words how physically and emotionally angry I am at the last 24 hours of my life. Last night around 6pm I received a phone call informing me that my computer was broken and would cost about 400 dollars to replace (more than new laptops are going for these days), then the improbable happened, Colt Fuckin McCoy the kid who was destined to be the QB at Texas got injured and knocked out of the game a mere 5 offensive plays in... Oh excuse me by injury i meant to say he got a boo boo. The kid said on national TV he felt no pain... umm ok dude so why the fuck didn't you play? Like it's the national championship game... you're THE Colt McCoy... like I thought you laughed in the face of danger and pissed on the cowards beneath you as they cowered in fear of you. But no he stood on the sidelines like a pussy with a headset on... cool dude... So, that brings me to today... nursing a Vince Wilfork sized hangover on the couch watching re-run after re-run of bitch boy Colt McCoy get bumped too hard I pick up my iPod Touch to put in my pocket and like a freak of nature leapt out of my hand in an apparent suicide attempt and landed perfectly into a half EMPTY glass of water and broke... That was as the phrase goes, "the straw that broke the camel's dick." Like ok my laptop broke, shit happens. Alright Colt McCoy left the game and Texas lost, what a pussy but whatever. Then my iPod is so scared about it's future life with me that it just ends its life now in fear of the future sufferings it'll endure alive... After all this I finally realized why this shit kept happening to me and it's simply karma. I am now being punished for the countless hearts and vaginas I've punished over the years and continue to punish. I mean no human should be able to do what I do and just get away with it, that is except for me at least. But now I just feel foolish because karma is a filthy whore who gets around to everyone even me... So call me Earl from My Name is Earl but don't expect me to walk around with a list undoing my dirty deeds cuz for 1 it would be way too long to fix in 1 lifetime and 2 I'd rather just continue breaking hearts and bustin holes instead and just avoid karma like the girl I banged last night. Live and Learn Kids.

Dingo is my Name-O

Jersey Shore: better than sex?

Just wanted to poke my dick in and say hi, i know everyone has been checking the blog all day waiting for me to post.. Today has been rather boring all I have done is crush steel, bang 3 girls and save an old lady and her cat from a burning building. I wanted to pay some respect to the #1 show on television...

You dont have to be hung like a horse to know there are 4 gurantees in life...death, taxes, playoff beards, and Jersey Shore is the best television show since Saved by the Bell.. and no im not talking college years im talking before puberty. This show could single handly save MTV. MTV has evolved from shows where people get drunk and do entertaining stuff (real world Hawaii) to movies and south park. The last two seasons of The Real World have been so bad I sometimes feel like im listening to a book on tape about politics and gay rights. Just when I thought we were all dead, here comes the Situation saving the mother fuckin day!! For those of you who dont know why he was a 56 pack of ripped abs, its because every time he gets down with a little hood rat, God is so happy that he grants him one extra ab. I usually find myself counting down the hours until this show is on again..am i disappointed when its over? no shot in hell because I know that this kind of entertainment can only happen once a week..anymore and we would all explode with happiness.

Happy Nanakusa (Seven Herbs Festival) to everyone in Japan!

- Dunstin Pulls Out

Coming Soon: Call of Duty, The Washington Wizards Locker Room!

So recently I've been bored outta my mind around the house watching SportsCenter a solid 4 times a day and I can't help but think how ridiculous the NBA has gotten. For those of you who have been living in a cave with Osama for the past 2 weeks or so, Gilbert Arenas of the Wizards and Jarvaris Critteron were playin a poker game which Arenas lost and then refused to pay up and instead placed like 4 gats (guns) on the table and was like what gambling debt homie? Crinterron responds by pulling out his own gun, loading a clip, and putting a bullet in the chamber... oh and this was in the fucking Wizards locker room... This is one of America's top 4 sports! Athletes that are role models, but appear to be nothing more than gangster thugs bringing guns into their own fuckin locker rooms. Talk about trusting your teammates right? Well for me I've never been a big "basketball" (if you can even justify the NBA being basketball as they ignore every major rule in the book) guy anyway, but it just seems like a mix between Grand Theft Auto, WWE, and the AND1 mix tape tour without the Professor. AKA lame. So my pitch to the people at Infinity Ward (the makers of arguably one of the hottest video games right now; Call of Duty Mondern Warefare 2), you should make a Call of Duty: The Washington Wizards Locker Room. I mean you've got everything you need, controversy to spark media hype (aka free publicity), star power with Gilbert Arenas (aka Agent Zero aka Hibatchi) you know Arenas is suspended with no income for at least the season and will be looking for a paycheck, shit he will probably agree for voice overs and to be on the cover. And then comes the big twist, PLAXICO busts outta the joint and vows to take over the NBA and LeBron and Kobe team up with Gilbert to stop him. I mean it's Marketing 101 here people, get on the money train while you still can.

Dingo is my Name-o

The Future Freaks Me Out

Unfortunately, not every post can be a postiive one. One thing today that really bothered me was the future. Not so much as my future career or wife, but more importantly how I will be in the future. So much in today's world focuses on the negative, and that affects the way we act and behave. We are constantly emersed by our fears and threats of others. Whether it be the economy, terrorism, or just general paranoia, I can understand why so many people have been under so much stress. My main concern is how am I going to be able to deal with this stress when I finally go out into the real world. As a current student, I constantly find myself in a care-free state. Even when the school and social life blunders stack up, I always seem to land on my feet with the mantra. "its just college". And more importantly we always have the week or weekend to get drunk as a release. But what happens when we leave and actually get jobs that require our attention for 8 or more hours a day for five days a week? I can see why people would turn to the bottle. This is because we no longer have the same releases we did in college such as sports and roommates. I'm concerned that when I leave schoool, I won't be able to deal with the stress as I can now. Simply going to the gym or talking to one of your friends probably won't cut it anymore. Will I turn to drinking every night or some other habit that gives me momentary pleasure? I hope not, but I can certainly see why so many new graduates and even parents lapse into habits not previously experienced. And the logic for these lapses is simple, I was able to do it in college, and it worked then, so it will work now. The truth is when we do graduate, we only have ourselves to count on. I know thats very pessimistic, but we will all eventually move away from our friends and family who have helped guide us through the college experience. Very soon nobody will be able to tell us what to do because we won't live at home, our parents won't be paying for school, and we will be able to provide for ourselves. I guess what I am trying to make sense of is will our quietest whispers be echoed in our enternity? I hope not and I hope when the time comes I'll bend and not break.

Excessively Pleasant
even a shallow pool is deep enough to drown in

Condoms: Friend or Foe?

First off let me just start off with the obvious two reasons why condoms are good. 1) They make sure some filthy hoe doesn't make your D burn and fall off and 2) They help you not impregnate bitches to a point. That said here are the 276482618 reasons why condoms suck. Ladies for you to fully understand how awful these little dick stranglers are I want you to do an exercise for me. I want you to find some warm mashed potatoes or apple pie or whatever your cup of tea is and stick 2 fingers in the center of it... now i want you to put a condom on those 2 fingers and try again... sucks right? Now get drunk and do it... So when you're getting your holes punished because a guy is loaded and you're making him wear a rub a dub dub no fun in the tub and you're bitching because he can't finish and your vag is all dried up and in excrutiating pain, I want you to get up find the closest mirror and look into it and say the following, "this is all my fault." You see your childish ways have finally caught up to you. All you had to do was simply go to your doctor or your gyno or your therapist or your dentist or one of the 75 doctors you bitches seem to have and say hey I want my vag pounded without guys having to have their cocks loosely strangled to the point where they lose their erection so my vagina doesn't hurt anymore please :-) and wa-fucking-lah you've got the thing that makes the world go round, the pill. So ladies stop being immature and selfish and do us all a favor and go get on the pill. If Obama wants to restore the American Dream which he has killed he would make it mandatory that at 16 when a slut gets her license she is also handed a perscription for birth control which she must fill and take everyday or else she is sent to a special non birth control prison for dykes. If he did that people would forget about the economy and the war and healthcare all together and they'd be in the streets screaming GOD BLESS AMERICA!

"You're welcome America"

-Dingo is my Name-O