Recently I found myself stumbling into church drunk when I realized my reasons for going were deeply based in immorality. I was initially convinced to go because one of my friends was trying to score points with some girl who goes every morning and I needed to make some effort to save my soul from eternal damnation. Well needless to say while attending mass for the first time in over a year, I had an epiphany. When I was "praying" at church, I caught myself just asking for things such as I hope that girl isn't pregnant and I wish I win the lottery. Almost instantly I realized the the man who had died for my sins and transgressions was nothing more to me then a genie who grants unlimited wishes that never get fulfilled. Then immediatley I remembered every time in the past that I had gone to church, I was just asking God to either get me the new nerf gone when I was little or to play well in sports games coming up. And if I was not asking Jesus for my unrealistic expectations, I was thinking about which girls I could bone in church. I finally realized what a piece of shit I was. I really think now I was doing more harm showing up every Sunday then sitting at home and pretending I am religious. I guess Jesus never had a friend, never had a friend, never had a friend like me.
